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Eccles: Wanted - Dead or still twitching
Currently found in the wilds of south Wales, this shy and nervous creature is wanted for persistent and wanton innuendo. Only approach with utmost caution bearing gifts of chocolate and thongs.
Who is this Eccles chap?
As drawed by one of the Goons, probably Spike (Taken from "The Lost Goon Shows" © Spike Milligan 1987)
(Milligan's Who's Who ~ Part 95 Taken from 'More Goon Show Scripts' © Spike Milligan 1973.)
Homo Sapiens, also, Ecco Homo. Part-time human being, height varies between 2 foot 6 inches, and 18 foot 3 inches, depending upon food, environment and bed size. At birth he was round and full of currants, and was baptised Eccles Cake. Schooling,- Mr Crollick's Establishment for the chronic fit. Spent 18 years in Kindergarten. dopted by Rich Sponsor,- Private turot of two years. Tutor commited to an Asylum. Rich sponsor charged with trying to drown the boy child Eccles, also charged with throwing him off the Eiffel Tower (Eccles Survived the fall) charged with laying Eccles in face of Oncoming steam roller. Rich Sponsor honoured on Queen's Birthday. Destruction of Eccles medal first clasp. Eccles was next seen by the Captain of the H.M.S. Posiden, he was 120 miles South South East of the Lizard and eating a sandwich, when hailed by the H.M.S. Posiden he replied 'I had one two, but the wheels came off'. Since then he Admiralty have charted his course. Currently reported to be sleeping peacfully on a rocky Atoll in the French Atomic Bombing Range.
Profile II (Looking from the side with the sun behind him)
(Taken from The Goon Show Companion)
The original Goon. Born 1863. Only child of Ethel Cox. Virgin birth. Educated at Convent till age 7 - end of education. Has had 18,312 interviews for jobs. Has never been employed. Spends his days walking around saying "Hello dere" to anyone who will listen. Wears a 33-year-old Burton suit. Is occasionally used by the Metropolitan Police for target practice. Was once painted by Augustus John from head to foot with whitewash. Likes children. Children like him. His economy drives consist of wearing only one sock. Was the personal friend of a brewer's dray. Was Home Secretary for 3 days - until the printing error was discovered. Lives near 29 Scrot Lane, Balham. He is friends with Bluebottle, whom he calls "Bottle", they usually have their own extended scene with just them talking, nonscence trash, of course.